Please
by Maja Elisabeth
Summary: "Where are you going?" she asked. "I don't know" he replied. "Then we're maybe heading the same way?"


Title: Please

Author: Maja Elisabeth

Rating: K+

Pairing: Mac/Stella

Disclaimer: And no, I do not own the show...

Summary: "Where are you going?" she asked. "I don't know" he replied. "Then we're maybe heading the same way?"

* * *

It wasn't often he was wrong. Mac Taylor did not make the wrong decisions easily. He was the head of the New York City Crime lab, if he said yes instead if saying no, he knew that it would cost lives. The time would run out and criminals would be back on the streets again. Always he considered the possibilities of the two options he had to choose between. What would happen if he picked that one, instead of the other. What consequences would that bring?

It was almost like he was playing chess inside of his head. Thinking a few steps ahead. What move should he pull off next to put the king in distress?

But this time it all went too fast. He didn't have the time he needed to think of a good answer, even though a simple yes would have made it. A yes, three letters that could have changed everything. Instead he replied no.

And watched as her emerald green eyes was filled to the verge of disappointment and pain. His heart stung of guilt when he remembered the look on her face, her eyes, and when she turned her back to him and walked away.

She'd walked away before, but she'd always come back. This time, he wasn't so sure about it anymore.

Stella was the only one in his life who he could rely on. When everything seemed to fall apart, she was the one who picked up the pieces and put them all together again. His best friend.

She'd asked if he'd felt what she felt. The attraction between them, the need, the urge and heat. Yes, of course he could feel it. It was the last thing he thought when he closed his eyes to go to sleep, and the first thing he felt when he woke up.

To be honest, Mac had felt how his feelings for Stella had grown more and more noticeable. First, he tried to ignore them, and hope that they would go away eventually. It started when she began to date Drew, at that time Mac thought it was triggered by the fact that he couldn't have her.

He was in love with his best friend.

His best friend was in love with him.

It could have been perfect. But again, it wasn't.

He said no, no is a word indicating rejection, disagreement and refusal. Mac sighed, and felt how the first raindrops hit his head and then shoulders. He was sitting on this lonely dock, if it would have been the season, the boats would have stayed briefly on the pier for unloading and the tourists would have crowded the whole place.

But now, in winter time it was no one here. It was a great place to sit down and think. The rain began to fall more frequently, and Mac watched as they drew circular patterns in the water beneath him.

Rejection, disagreement and refusal. He didn't mean any of this, he meant the opposite. He wanted to say that, yes – he felt the attraction, the need, the urge and yes, he felt the heat too.

He said no, because he was so scared of losing her, so scared that he rather rejected her by own choice than losing her later, when he could not predict it. So scared of losing his best friend, so he turned his back so she couldn't see how much he was hurting.

Deep inside he knew that he couldn't be that man she really wanted, or deserved. Stella was that kind of woman, if you passed her on the busy streets of New York you would turn around and look at her. Her beauty was radiant, glowing. She could get any man she wanted.

He was damaged, from previous relationships. He'd been hurt in the past. Dealt with to much sorrow and pain that could break down even the strongest man.

He could definitely not go through that again.

She, on the other hand was also damaged from her previous relationships, she'd been hurt and devastated. Stella needed someone who could make her smile, and regain that positive insight of life again.

Maybe, they worked better as friend. As they always used to be. You don't reject your best friend, you don't hurt your best friend. The question is, can they still be friends with all this said and done?

All the rejections, the disappointments, the anger, hurt and pain.

"Mac?" he turned around quickly when he heard someone calling his name.

There she was, Stella Bonasera. On the pier, holding a umbrella over her head. The rain dripped from the edges of the black umbrella in large drops. He had no idea of how long she might have been standing there.

"Stella?" Mac arched a brow. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing" she replied and walked towards him where he sat, and held the umbrella over his head to shield him from the rain.

He could see the doubt in her eyes as she came closer, the fear of being rejected one more time scared her the most.

"I needed to think" he replied, as she sat down beside him. She didn't care if her jeans was getting wet.

"And so do I"

"Look Stell," he turned his head and looked at her. "I'm sorry"

"Me too" she confessed.

The sound of the rain, pattering on the umbrella would have been cosy and comforting, but now it wasn't.

"I didn't mean to hurt you"

"I know," Stella sighed. "I just want to know what I did wrong, so I don't do it again"

"You did nothing wrong, Stell" he laid his hand over hers, but as if she would have been burned on the stove, she pulled back her hand. Mac swallowed, and tried to ignore the sting of pain in his heart.

"What did I do then?"

"Nothing, I was the one who messed up" he sighed.

"You were honest" Stella remarked. "and I appreciate that"

"No I wasn't" his voice cracked. "I lied."

"What?"

"I'm scared, of losing you." Mac swallowed. "And I'm scared to admit to myself, and to you, that I love you"

He rose, and felt that he'd already said too much. Didn't dare to look at her. He began to walk, away from her.

"Wait!" she sprung to her feet. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know" he replied.

"Then maybe we are heading the same way?" she said and their eyes met for the first time.

* * *

A/n: Hi! I'm so sorry, I haven't written anything in a long time. I consider to stop writing, I don't feel like I have the same insperation like I had before. Maybe it's because the guy I mentioned before, maybe it's something else. Anyway, I have deleted some of my stories, those who I don't think I would have finished.

I want to thank everyone who have sent me reviews over those years I've been here. Thank you!

We'll see when/if I get back here.

Good bye! Maja Elisabeth.


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